Tongfu (同夫)

A tongfu — “husband of a tongzhi” — is a heterosexual man married, without his knowledge, to a lesbian. It is the mirror term of tongqi, and it grows from the same structure: marriage pressure, stigma, and the default script that everyone marries on schedule. Because Chinese women often face even heavier family pressure to marry, many lesbians are pushed into heterosexual marriages — and at the other end of those marriages stand unknowing husbands.

Tongfu are discussed far less publicly than tongqi: men talk less readily about emotional trouble inside a marriage, and asking for help is harder still. But the injury has the same shape — years of distance, self-doubt, and a collapse of trust when the truth surfaces.

Register note: a community and media word; not derogatory in itself. When it refers to a real person, use it with respect.

Common confusion: applying it to the informed male partner in a xinghun (cooperative marriage). The defining feature of a tongfu is not knowing; a consensual arrangement is a different thing entirely (see pianhun on where consent draws the line).