Pianhun (骗婚)

In everyday Chinese, pianhun means marrying someone to defraud them of money. In LGBTQ+ discourse it means something more specific: concealing one’s sexual orientation to marry an unknowing heterosexual partner — the act that produces tongqi and tongfu. The line between pianhun and xinghun is bright and simple: xinghun is a cooperation both parties walk into with open eyes; pianhun is defined by deception.

Its causes are structural — marriage pressure, stigma, fear — and the people who conceal are usually trapped themselves. But explaining is not excusing: your pressure is real, and so is the other person’s right to informed consent. Using an unknowing person’s life as cover doubles the damage instead of halving it. There are other ways through the pressure (see the family pressure guide).

Register note: a heavy, accusatory word, common in tongqi support communities and media coverage. Verify the facts before aiming it at an individual.

Common misuse: applying it to consensual xinghun; or to people who only worked out their orientation after marrying. Self-understanding can arrive late — “knew and hid it” is a different situation from “figured it out afterward.”