Deadname

A deadname is the name a transgender person used before transition and has since retired. Because most given names are gendered — Chinese names emphatically so — choosing a new name is one of the weightiest steps of social transition: the new name is self-chosen and finally fits.

The word sounds harsh; it is also precise. A deadname is not “their other name” or “their real name” — it is a decommissioned one. Using it (deadnaming) lands much like misgendering: a face-to-face announcement that you do not recognize who they are now.

Deadnames are also hard to escape, and here the Chinese context bites harder than most. The mainland household registry keeps a permanent “former name” (cengyongming, 曾用名) field; diplomas, medical records, and old classmates’ memories all preserve the name, and bureaucratic counters force people to confront it again and again. Which is exactly why consideration from the people who can choose matters so much.

The etiquette is simple: don’t ask what someone’s deadname was (the question feeds curiosity, nothing else); if you happen to know it, don’t pass it on or introduce anyone with “they used to be called…”; and old photos and old names stay unshared without consent.

Register note: community vocabulary. Chinese uses 旧名 (“old name,” neutral) and the direct translation 死名 (“dead name,” more pointed); the bureaucratic 曾用名 is registry language with no community meaning.

Common misuse: “But I’ve known you as X for years — I can’t switch.” The right to a name belongs to its bearer. When any friend changes their name, we manage the switch; this one is no harder.