Jilao (基佬)

Jilao (基佬, Cantonese gei lou) is built from two parts: gei (基), a Cantonese phonetic borrowing of the English word “gay,” and lou (佬), a suffix for grown men that carries a shrug of contempt — the same suffix as in gweilo (“foreign devil”). The combination was never neutral. Spread across the Chinese-speaking world by Hong Kong cinema and internet slang, it usually lands with a sneer.

Its real-world force is context-dependent, and the split matters:

• From outsiders: however casual the tone, it typically registers as an insult to the person hearing it — and in intensified combinations like sei gei lou it is unambiguous abuse, on the order of the harshest English homophobic slurs.
• Inside the community: some gay men do use jilao among themselves with self-deprecating affection, pulling the sting out of the word — much as some English speakers reclaimed “queer.” But reclamation rests on a simple premise: “this word has hurt me, so I get to decide how it’s used.” That right belongs to the people it was aimed at, not to bystanders.

Register note: if you are not part of the community, the safe choice is simply not to use it. Natural alternatives: “gay man,” nan tongzhi (男同志), or the person’s name.

Common misreading: “my gay friends call themselves that, so I can too.” Their in-group banter is their freedom, not a pass issued to you — some jokes belong only to the people they are about.