Romantic orientation

Romantic orientation describes who you’re drawn to romantically and emotionally — which genders that “I want to fall in love with this person, be close to them” feeling points toward. For most people it points the same way as sexual attraction, so the distinction never comes up. But the two aren’t always bundled — and this concept took shape mainly in asexual communities for exactly that reason: someone who experiences little or no sexual attraction may still fall in love (a romantic orientation) or may have no interest in romance either (aromantic).

In use, a direction word attaches to “romantic”: heteroromantic, homoromantic, biromantic, aromantic — vocabulary that works hand-in-hand with the split attraction model. For where this language came from, read Asexuality explained.

Register note: community vocabulary, gradually entering academic discussion. It’s a use-it-if-it-helps descriptive tool, not a form everyone must fill out.

Common misuse: treating romantic orientation as a mandatory question for everyone — or, in reverse, insisting that people who don’t separate romance from sexuality “haven’t thought it through.” Most people’s attractions align, and one word covers them fine; the tool exists for those who need it.