Outing

Outing means disclosing someone’s sexual orientation or gender identity to a third party without their consent. It’s the mirror image of coming out on one’s own terms — the difference isn’t whether something was said, but who held the decision.

Why it matters: the timing and audience of coming out often bear on a person’s safety, job, and family relationships (which is also why the closet is worth navigating deliberately — see coming out to parents). Making that decision for someone else, even out of “good intentions” or carelessness, can do real harm.

The principle is simple: a person’s identity is theirs. Whether to tell, whom to tell, and when — all of that is theirs to decide. If you happen to learn someone’s identity, the safe move is to keep it for them, not to announce it for them.