Comphet (强制异性恋)

“Compulsory heterosexuality” — qiangzhi yixinglian in Chinese, comphet in internet shorthand — comes from poet and feminist Adrienne Rich’s 1980 essay “Compulsory Heterosexuality and Lesbian Existence.” It names not a person forcing you to date, but a structural default: society assumes everyone is straight and scripts life accordingly — every romance plot, every relative’s “so, seeing anyone?”, all the way to bihun, outright marriage pressure. In Chinese contexts the script is especially loud, because marriage is framed as a duty owed to the family.

The concept is useful as a mirror. Growing up inside air that says “everyone likes the opposite sex,” many people — the discussion has focused especially on women’s experience — need years to tell “I am actually attracted” apart from “I was expected to be.” If that untangling is where you are, see Am I gay?.

Register note: academic and community-discourse vocabulary, rare in casual speech. Chinese writing uses both the full translation and the English clipping comphet.

Common misuse: turning the mirror outward — “you only think you’re straight; that’s comphet.” It is a tool for examining your own feelings, not a hat to put on other people; genuine heterosexuality obviously exists.