Do children raised by same-sex couples turn out unhealthy — or "turn gay"?

Two fears usually sit behind this question — “they’ll be unhealthy” and “they’ll turn gay” — and decades of research have found evidence for neither. What decides whether a child thrives is whether the home is loving, stable, and secure — not the gender make-up of the parents. After reviewing a large body of research, the major professional bodies reach the same conclusion: children raised by same-sex couples do just as well on mental health, school performance, and social adjustment as children of different-sex parents.

Straight parents have always raised gay children

• The American Psychological Association reviewed decades of family research and found no evidence that children of same-sex parents are disadvantaged in development or adjustment. A parent’s sexual orientation, on its own, tells you nothing about the quality of their parenting.
• The American Academy of Pediatrics, in its 2013 policy statement, states plainly that a child’s healthy development rests on the quality of care, family stability, and the emotional bond between parent and child — not on whether the parents are same-sex or different-sex.
• On “turning gay”: sexual orientation is not something that can be taught or transmitted. The WHO removed homosexuality from its disease classification back in 1990. Straight parents have raised gay children for as long as there have been families, and the reverse holds just as well — parents’ orientation does not determine their children’s.

The problem isn’t the family — it’s the prejudice

• Many people worry the children will be bullied. That can happen — but the cause is prejudice in the surrounding world, not anything wrong with the family. The answer is to reduce discrimination, not to question whether these families should exist.
• If the logic that “a child is incomplete without a father / without a mother” held, then children raised by single parents, by grandparents, or after the loss of a parent would all be “damaged” too — and we know that isn’t true. What lets children flourish is the quality of the relationships, not the shape of the household.

Whether you’re an LGBTQ+ parent — or a worried one

If you’re an LGBTQ+ parent, or thinking about becoming one: the love and stability you can offer is what actually matters, and there’s solid research behind that. If you’re a parent worried that a relative’s orientation might “rub off” on the next generation, you can probably exhale — it’s worth reading orientation basics to see where orientation actually comes from, and a note for parents on how to support rather than correct. For the bigger question of whether orientation can be changed at all, see this companion myth.